A couple nights ago we got Jack a new pair of sunglasses.  His first inclination was to not take them off.  His second was to head immediately to the beach.  Smart kid.  Trying to explain to a two-year-old that we had to head home because it was bedtime, thus too late for a trip to the beach, was like…well, just like you’d expect explaining “no” to any two-year-old would be.  I said we could go the next day, and we reached bedtime with minimal tears.  Jack woke up and immediately asked where his sunglasses were – we couldn’t get to the beach soon enough.  I wasn’t going to change the plan, but every little task on my to-do list seemed to get bold and italicized, and were getting larger every time they caught my eye as I was packing up towels and sunscreen.

And so we escaped to the beach.  Away from technology and things that need to get done.  It was so nice to step away and have a quiet day just thinking about what I’m doing, and why I’m doing it.  It was nice to prioritize things, and figure out where I wanted to scale things back and just what I wanted to be putting more energy into.  I tend to think big, so after a first successful week at the farmers’ market, my thoughts were immediately drawn to having a physical location, all while planning just what I want to do once I am done with this cookbook project I’ve got going on here.  This blog means so much to me, and trying to plan out the next step is very important to me.  I’ve also got an amazing writing project in the works with a couple of my friends, which is something I’ve been pouring into for the past couple months, and plan to continue to do so, um, forever.

All this being said, all these projects are side projects.  My main gig is staying home with our little dude.  Balancing it all seems like more than I can handle some days.  Doing everything perfectly, while desirable, just isn’t in the cards.  We moved back to Michigan so we could set up this life for ourselves where we were doing what we wanted to be doing, and sometimes I feel like I should be doing everything (literally, everything!) I want to be doing.  I want to stay home with Jack, I want to be writer, a blogger, a beekeeper, have a beautiful garden, have a little bakeshop that serves brunch on Sundays, have chickens, make delicious meals, have a booth at the farmers’ market, train for another half marathon…The list could go on, really.  And while I can do, and even am doing a lot of that stuff, I realize I don’t have to do it all.  If I want to be doing things well, I shouldn’t be doing it all.  Maybe I will keep bees when I am fifty.  Maybe I’ll never have chickens of my own, or will never have a huge garden.  I have friends with chickens and gardens!

Dreaming big is definitely something that’s in me, but I am all about learning it’s okay to not do it all.  At least, do it all right now.  Right now, it’s important to have days where we spontaneously head to the beach, and we have the entire beach to ourselves!  The coldness of the water meant nothing to Jack as he splashed through the small waves in search of rocks, screaming this mantra over and over, “I’m having so much fun!  I’m so exited, mama!  The water is so much fun!”  Seriously, he repeated that over and over.  He’s never done that at the grocery store, or watching me fold laundry.  That’s for sure.  He also said “So much cold!” a few times.  I’d ask him if he wanted to get out of the water, and he’d smile and scream, “No way!”

We got home, sandy and tired, and Jack told Dan he saw a big boat, he spotted a whale, played in the water, saw pirates and had “so much fun”!  We saw no whale, but we did see a huge boat that looked like a pirate ship.  Even though there was a tantrum trying to pull that boy away from that beach, I left feeling like I was in a good spot with the stress I’ve been feeling lately.  Lake Michigan is pretty magical, and has all the answers.  If you’re ever in the area, I’d recommend it.  National Geographic would too, actually.

Congratulations, you’ve made it through my longest, rambling post.  Thanks.

The weekend was wonderful.  I can easily look back at any fun weekend and point out what didn’t get accomplished or went wrong.  You know, laundry that didn’t get done, baking for the blog wasn’t in the cards, brunch was not so good and Jack wasn’t a happy guy at the table…That kind of stuff.

But, it’s completely pointless to focus on what should have happened instead of the good stuff.  I did have such an amazing weekend, regardless that I’m starting out the week feeling a little behind.  I wrapped up a huge project with two friends, enjoyed a little solo shopping trip to The Mall (!!!), we had a really fun evening at another friend’s birthday party, I was shown so much Mother’s Day love from the boys (and from lots of friends and family too sending sweet notes via text and Facebook!), and I went on the best four-mile run I’ve ever had.  It was a great way to begin officially training for another half marathon.  And last night, when I’d usually be working on bloggity blog stuff, I watched some really good TV.

I also spent a great deal of the weekend wrestling over all these projects I’m working on, asking myself what I really want to be putting all my time and energy into.  More on this soon.  For now, Jack and I are packing a picnic and heading to the beach.